Friendship is important but these days it seems to get harder and harder to maintain a good friendship with somebody you've become physical with..... Why is that??? You meet someone, they seem cool, you both have established that you don't want a relationship (or not ready for one) and end up getting physical..... Is it hard to maintain a good friendship after that?
Why do simple things become complicated? Like returning a call or a text (Especially if I see you tweeting!!!) Is that asking too much??? If you JUST wanna keep it sexual (without friendship), that's fine but let's get that understanding in the beginning so there won't be any miss understandings........... I'll just hit you when I wanna hit and won't waste time in being a friend.
Am I reading too deep guys? Let me know. Because I've experienced this exact thing...... Quite naturally I keep it moving but I can't say it doesn't make me wonder. As a friend (male or female) I expect to get a return call/text...... Especially if I send more than one. What's your take on the matter?
An Escaped Thought.
Without putting my business out there (LOL), I've embarked upon this situation a time or two in my day, even recently. My situation is a tad bit different, though. We let each other know in the beginning what we wanted and we stuck to it. I answer all of his texts and he answers all of mine. So, the friendship part is okay with the calls. We've been friends for an entire year now! So, I do believe that it can happen.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is when he starts lying to me and WE'RE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. You have to be a strong some-kind-of-a-person to do something like this because honestly, emotions will come you. My friend and I have both caught ourselves getting jealous once we found out we were still talking to other people, but we never let that consume us.
I think it's just about understanding like you said. If you go into a situation one way, you can't expect it to change. Stick with it!
Most guys won't tell you that they just want to hit and don't want a friendship, because they are gonna tell u what u want to hear JUST to hit. But I'm a VERY honest female & I will definitely let you know!
I say, if you notice a change in your "agreement," question him about it. If you feel like he's not being honest, drop him! lol Why would u NEED his friendship anyway, especially if he's not being a FRIEND. The sex CAN'T be THAT good! lol
In my opinion friendship after sex isn't for everybody. An s a male when it come to sex we can detach ourselves emotionally from sex and let it be about the sex, but in my experience when it comes to females if the sex is too good... That friendship line can’t be crossed again because she will eventually become emotionally attached to you, lets face it females are very emotional beings. Now if you guys can establish after sex that they will be no strings attached then good luck, if you believe in such a thing, but in most cases somebody always falls for the other, which cause the friendship aspect of the relationship to become broken and irreparable. But being in this situation before, I've had sex with some of my now friends and that what we are friends; we respect each other’s relationships and leave past actions in the past. I guess the real trick is being able to have an open line of communication afterwards to really put things in perspective to make sure that you both have an understanding of what is going on emotionally and sexually...
ReplyDeleteI agree with "Big Hurt" (hey I think I know his real alias! I digress..) Women are more prone to think with their hearts and not their heads. Once a guy has successfully been ALLOWED to occupy womens' mental spaces EVERYTHING else follows. Men on the other hand make decisions based on neither their head NOR their heart; men are more animalistic in their sexual pursuits. That's why it's more important for women to address the emotional deficits and vulnerabilities so that we WON'T be at the receiving end of the equation. Ultimately, a woman's inability to address their emotional neediness will cause them to grant access to guys merely for the validation that they provide at their emotional expense. Furthermore, the way the statistics are looking for Black women, if she finds a good "friend" that she has any sexual chemistry with, 9/10 she gonna try to shoot her shot to see if there is potential for more.
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